Putting the Tea in Team: Why the Humble Cuppa is the Ultimate Connection Ritual, even Online
Inspired by a recent LinkedIn post on cultural rituals that that foster belonging*, I found myself pondering the British equivalent. Despite ChatGPT suggesting ‘the pub’, the answer was brewing right in front of me: the humble cuppa.
In our remote working world, the office tea round is consigned to history. And it is a workday moment that’s missed.
But why does the simple act of making a brew create such powerful social glue?
The Perfect Brew: Anatomy of a Connection Ritual
The tea round works because it creates permission, space, and boundaries for social connection:
- Intentional pause signal – “Fancy a cuppa?” is workplace code for “let’s take a legitimate social moment.” It’s the permission slip everyone needs.
- Predictably unpredictable – Regular enough to be relied upon, but never scheduled in your calendar or choice. You’d notice its absence but it remains entirely spontaneous.
- Low stakes, high returns – It’s nearly impossible to catastrophically mess it up. The barrier to entry is refreshingly low.
- Personal preferences celebrated – Everyone’s peculiar requirements are honoured with surprising precision. (“Weak, splash of milk, sugar stirred anti-clockwise while humming Greensleeves? Coming right up!”)
- Bounded intimacy – Creates closeness with clear parameters. There are few ways to make a tea round inappropriately intimate, unlike those dreaded “tell us your biggest fear” icebreakers.
- Radically inclusive – Don’t like tea? Have coffee. Caffeine-free? Water is fine. Abstain completely? No judgment. It’s about the moment, not the beverage.
- Gratitude generator – Simple thanks for simple kindness creates a virtuous cycle of reciprocity that oils the wheels of workplace relationships.
Digital Tea Rounds: The Virtual Kettle
The principles that make the physical tea round work can translate beautifully to remote environments. Here’s how:
The Virtual Tea Tap
An unscheduled 5-minute video or chat interaction with explicitly social intent. When team leaders initiate these, they normalise the crucial micro-breaks that prevent digital burnout.
The ‘Kettle’s On’ Signal
A custom status or tea emoji in communication platforms that signals: “I’m available for a brief social connection.” It creates permission for interruption without demanding it.
Brew and Review
Sharing a small work item with “I’d value your thoughts while I make a cuppa” immediately sets comfortable expectations: this conversation has natural time boundaries.
Kettle Time in Agendas
Building in five minutes at the start of meetings specifically for tea chat creates a buffer between back-to-backs while acknowledging our human need to connect before diving into spreadsheets.
The beauty of these rituals isn’t what they contain, but what they create: permission to be genuinely human, together, during workdays when it’s easy to feel far apart. Like the best cup of tea, the perfect connection ritual is simple, personal, and surprisingly restorative.
Now, who’s putting the kettle on?
*Thanks to Perle Laouenan-Catchpole for the inspiration!
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