Connection Cafe Reflections: New Beginnings

“I’m not looking for new friends at work, I just need to know you’ve got my back.“

Starting something new comes with excitement, anticipation and often a dash of anxiety. Whether it’s a new job, project or partnership, those first interactions lay the groundwork for everything that follows.

At our recent Connection Cafe, we explored what makes those first moments count – and how being intentional about connection from the beginning shapes the relationships we build. Here’s a round up of some our key reflections, shared during the session.

Trust, Not Friendship

“Being friendly and making friends are two different things. I’m always friendly, but I’m not looking for loads of friends in business. I’m very clear on what I’m about.”

It’s easy to get swept up in warm welcomes. But the clarity of knowing your own needs is what creates a foundation of trust. Our group quickly identified what truly matters in working relationships:

• Knowing what to expect from each other
• Communicating honestly within appropriate boundaries
• Having each other’s backs when it counts 
• Seeing the human behind the job title

“[It’s] a different type of relationship…that maybe you don’t even have with some friends…. you have to have each other’s back in certain situations.”

Time Well Spent

In our increasingly remote world of work,, the perception of “valuable time” has shifted dramatically.

“When you’re in a remote environment, everything becomes ultra formal… You’re scheduling calls and then you don’t want to waste people’s time talking about anything other than the task at hand.”

But another participant pushed back with refreshing candour:

“It’s not a waste of time, bloody hell, it’s the most valuable thing you can do to just make a bit of time… that’s not about the task.”

Those early conversations – learning about each other’s backgrounds, working styles, interests and motivations – create foundations that make collaboration smoother later. They’re not where relationships are made, but they are an investment, not a distraction.

Honest Beginnings

The need for trust extends beyond our colleagues to the wider organisation, and our discussion kept returning to honesty. Being transparent from the earliest interactions – especially during recruitment – builds trust that can weather inevitable challenges later.

Job seekers are increasingly prioritising authenticity in potential employers:

“I just want to work for a nice company… I want to know that I’m doing something good, I’m going to enjoy it, and it’s going to be with nice people.”

Polished organisations with flashy perks and high salaries might attract lots of attention, but your employer brand is only as strong as your ability to deliver on your promises. If your shiny exterior is hiding difficult dynamics, overworked teams and poor management, you’re losing the retention wars.

Starting Strong

So how do we build better connections from the beginning? Our participants suggested:

• Make space for it – Deliberately set aside time for connection before diving into tasks
• Be clear about boundaries – Honest communication about expectations helps everyone navigate the relationship appropriately
• Find genuine common ground – Whether it’s shared interests, experiences or goals, authentic connection points matter
• Show reliability early – Trust builds quickly when people see you follow through on commitments

The Lasting Impact

Early moments matter. When we prioritise connection from the start, we communicate what we value. We don’t need deep friendships with everyone we work with – but establishing authentic, appropriately bounded relationships from day one creates workplaces where people can bring their genuine selves while focusing on shared goals.

As one of the group succinctly summed up: “We’ll all be happier if people stop pretending”.

Join the conversation at one of our upcoming events.